I just noticed a big spike of over 400 views of my short “Love” on Vimeo. It’s now had over 1500 views over the two versions. Curious I tracked it down to a Hollywood Website called ScriptShadow which had written a long article about Rob Burke’s original script and the transition to the short film. It says..
“What we haven’t read yet is a short that we can actually COMPARE to the finished project. Well that’s going to change today. We’re not only going to read a short, but we’re going to see what it looks like on the big screen (or your small screen.) ….. It was interesting going back and reading the script, because there were some key differences between the two. Those differences are worth discussing as they had more of an effect on the final product than I think Rob knew.”
It’s fascinating reading this in depth analysis of a 2 page script. …plus nearly 100 comments. Many comments on the changes between the script and film. Criticism of some of the changes the director (me) made for financial reasons. However the script they were reading was an early draft, before I saw it. The creative changes I made in the film had actually been nearly all made in later drafts of the script. I’ve only just tracked down and read the original script. So it’s ironic to read the debate. For what it’s worth I believe Rob Burke’s final draft was the best. ..but I would wouldn’t I ?
Having so many people discussing your work though is hugely informative and an education.
Here’s some of the comments from the ScriptShadow discussion.
Displayed a pretty clear message in a powerful way
Execution could have been better. I think they cut too much, especially the character development.
So overall, big congrats for a professional-looking short that packed a punch at the end I was engaged and felt genuine tension
Didn’t enjoy the film much, very amateur
Very nicely shot – particularly the opening
The production value is commendable
The perfect short
Short, sharp, sweet and memorable
It packs a mean punch. Congrats!
I think the director did a fine job with the revised draft of the script. Well-shot, well-framed, editing is great, love the little girl.
I still like the final version, but it’s so true — the script was orders of magnitude better.
This is one instance in which the final film actually elevated the script.
It was all well-lit and looked good.
Execution could have been better
Switch to subway was genius
I don’t think the movie was shot in a way that very well supports the new material (the little girl should receive more camera time, and the man should receive less)
The short script was great. Good story, well-done for short page length. I DO NOT like the changes in the film, other than the subway.